


Talk Dirty to Me

by Homosexy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabble, Funny, M/M, Marauders' Era, Mention of Lily/James, Silly, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 11:32:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2620229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Homosexy/pseuds/Homosexy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius and Remus have 3 hours alone in the dorm. As ever, Sirius is full of surprises</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk Dirty to Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is another short, silly thing I'm sorry I swear I'll post something decent soon okay? Anyway I hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading!

Remus was excited. Perhaps too excited, he thought, but quickly convinced himself it was reasonable and that werewolves are very emotionally swayed (well maybe more hormonally swayed given the situation). Like the typical bookworm and socially awkward boy he was, he had pored over any resources he could find in preparation for that night, when he and Sirius would be the only ones in the dorm for three hours. Three whole hours…  
“Moony!” James waved a hand in front of his friend’s dazed face. Lupin gave a start  
“What?”  
“If you’re done spacing out, I’m off with Lily now”  
“Oh” Remus firmly ignored Sirius’s glances his way “Well have fun. Don’t, er, do anything I wouldn't” he tried not to laugh as Sirius madly dove under his bed, looking for something he had only then remembered as a cover for his hysterics  
“Got it” James laughed “Don’t get stuck under there Padfoot”. He left the room, chuckling. Sirius emerged from under his bed, actually holding something. His long dark hair was everywhere and he was grinning  
“Merry Christmas Moony” he laughed, handing Remus a small box, neatly wrapped in hot pink wrapping paper  
“Sirius, it’s October. Nice colour scheme though” Lupin smiled, examining it  
“Oh just open it” Sirius said impatiently. Remus carefully unwrapped it, wanting not to destroy Sirius’ careful work. He could see his boyfriend was itching to rip the paper off like his animal counterpart might. Nevertheless, Remus retained his careful pace. Inside the paper was a small box not unlike one that might contain earrings.  
“It isn't jewelry, is it? Because I’m not doing drag, even for you”  
“I’ll write that down for next year” Sirius grinned mischievously so that Remus couldn't tell if he was serious or not. He opened the box to find a card at the top that said “May I dear?” in beautiful calligraphy  
“You have the worst handwriting!” Lupin exclaimed “Did you use a charm or something?”  
“Maybe I did, maybe I didn't” Sirius laughed impatiently, “look underneath why don’t you?”  
“Yes yes hang on-oh” Remus stopped dead. Under the small card were 6 condoms  
“I have normal ones if you prefer, but I thought you might like the novelty” Sirius grinned  
“Who the bloody hell invented colour changing condoms?” Remus laughed, examining one of the foil wrappers “And is this-“  
“Vibrating charm, yeah” Sirius grinned “Might be fun”  
“Maybe for the first time, we ought to go… well normal” Remus said “I’m not saying no to a vibrating one though”  
“Who would have thought it? Prefect Remus Lupin-“  
“Shut up” Lupin laughed, cutting him off  
“Well, maybe a little good boy prefect has been a bit bad?” Sirius was often mockingly seductive, but now he was full on and Remus found it extremely attractive  
“I like it when you talk dirty to me” he whispered, now pressing right up against Sirius. Non-verbally, Sirius suddenly conjured a saxophone and charmed it to play the riff unmistakably from the popular song by Jason Derulo  
“Weirdly” Remus laughed in surprise “I’m still aroused. So get rid of that thing and let’s get on with it”


End file.
